earth below us.

I'm not going to lie, I'm struggling.

Yesterday before my workout I remembered that I never took my morning dose of Diamox, so of course I thought it was a good idea to take it at 3pm. Immediately before my workout (!). The first 15 minutes on the machine were standard: my thighs were a bit sore but nothing I hadn't felt before. At 18 minutes, I wanted to quit. At 25 minutes, I wanted to die. I drank my entire water bottle well before 30 minutes which was unusual, but it felt like my muscles were dying a slow death. I think I got to 35 minutes (maybe 40? I don't know, I was delusional) at which point I decided to cut my losses.

It was really bad. Really really bad. But I learned my lesson, and now I have even more motivation to get in shape so I can ditch the meds.

Spent two hours jumping between the hot tub and pool, I certainly fkin needed it. Passed out on the couch at around 9pm, woke up at 1am to move to the bed.

This morning I was pleading with the alarm clock to stop making time go so fast. I snoozed for half an hour, finally got out of bed 15 minutes before I was supposed to be at work. I was dressing myself and thinking that I would skip my workout today because I'm tired and worn out and I just can't do it today. And then I stepped on the scale.

TWO MOTHER FUCKING POUNDS! FUCK YEAH!

That brings my three week total to 5.5 pounds, YAY ME! Started at 297, now down to 284. Two years ago (December '09) I remember stepping on a scale and seeing 284 and thinking "fuck how did this happen?" and now I'm congratulating myself. It's small, but it's something and right now I have nothing.

I totally needed a small victory today.

I'm going to break my routine later today by NOT going straight to the gym. I need to pick up my new water bottles at the post office first, I might even put my workout off until later tonight. BECAUSE I'M AWESOME.

the countdown starts (major tom)

The good news: I lost half a pound at home despite all the carrot cake and lack of activity. I thought having dogs would be a good exercise, and instead I end up with dogs that are lazier than I am.

I could have gone crazy with food this weekend, and instead I have shown incredible restraint! A friend tempted me with McCafe and I only had a small hot chocolate after a strenuous workout (I fuckin earned it, OKAY?!)

I had two great workouts on Saturday and Sunday to get back into the swing of things.

The bad news: I did some Googling on the benefits of elliptical training to see if I was doing things right and I stumbled upon a website that had me enter my weight and number of minutes spent ellipticalling, and according to its calculations I can expect to lose 73 pounds in the next year if I exercise every day.

EVERY DAMN DAY.

I honestly thought the payoff would be much more for 365 days of exercising. I was expecting to be told 73 pounds by exercising 5 days a week, which I can totally handle.

On top of that, there were many negative comments about the effectiveness of elliptical training and I'm concerned. For me at my current weight and fitness level, I feel like this is the best chance I have at making any significant progress. I know down the road I'll have to step it up in terms of intensity, but until then I'm worried. For no good reason, too. I've heard and seen enough success stories first-hand to know that it's not the type of exercise that makes a different but the degree of commitment.

I'm committed. I can do commitment. Right? Right.

286.

huit jours en plus

Elliptical is going well, but the scale is playing games with me. As are my intestines.

Week 1

Monday 30
Tuesday 35
Wednesday 35
Thursday 40
Friday 45
Saturday 30
Sunday 43


Week 2

Monday 40