earth below us.

I'm not going to lie, I'm struggling.

Yesterday before my workout I remembered that I never took my morning dose of Diamox, so of course I thought it was a good idea to take it at 3pm. Immediately before my workout (!). The first 15 minutes on the machine were standard: my thighs were a bit sore but nothing I hadn't felt before. At 18 minutes, I wanted to quit. At 25 minutes, I wanted to die. I drank my entire water bottle well before 30 minutes which was unusual, but it felt like my muscles were dying a slow death. I think I got to 35 minutes (maybe 40? I don't know, I was delusional) at which point I decided to cut my losses.

It was really bad. Really really bad. But I learned my lesson, and now I have even more motivation to get in shape so I can ditch the meds.

Spent two hours jumping between the hot tub and pool, I certainly fkin needed it. Passed out on the couch at around 9pm, woke up at 1am to move to the bed.

This morning I was pleading with the alarm clock to stop making time go so fast. I snoozed for half an hour, finally got out of bed 15 minutes before I was supposed to be at work. I was dressing myself and thinking that I would skip my workout today because I'm tired and worn out and I just can't do it today. And then I stepped on the scale.

TWO MOTHER FUCKING POUNDS! FUCK YEAH!

That brings my three week total to 5.5 pounds, YAY ME! Started at 297, now down to 284. Two years ago (December '09) I remember stepping on a scale and seeing 284 and thinking "fuck how did this happen?" and now I'm congratulating myself. It's small, but it's something and right now I have nothing.

I totally needed a small victory today.

I'm going to break my routine later today by NOT going straight to the gym. I need to pick up my new water bottles at the post office first, I might even put my workout off until later tonight. BECAUSE I'M AWESOME.