refreshing departure.

I had my second full-hour workout yesterday. I was having a bad day and I had forgotten my iPod at home, so I was feeling pretty dismal about the workout even before I had gotten started. I thought for sure I wasn't going to make it past 30 minutes.

Somewhere along the 18 minute mark I started having problems with my toes going numb, at 29 minutes I loosened my laces. Two minutes after that, I kicked off my shoes entirely. I finished the last half hour of my workout barefoot save a pair of thin ankle socks. Two things I noticed:

1. I can't go as fast without shoes. While I had the shoes on, I was consistently doing 57-59 RPMs. Barefoot, I couldn't break 54.

2. With shoes, I am significantly less aware of what's going on with my feet. That being said, I appreciate not having the distraction. It was annoying spending the last thirty minutes being hyper aware of the ridges and grooves of the pedals etching their shape onto the soles of my feet. Also, I was more prone to gradual slipping wearing only socks which was throwing off my stance.

Problems abound.


Progress has been slow, as expected. But I'm not discouraged! Quite the opposite, really. I feel better after I workout, it makes me feel happier and stronger and (dare I even say it?) sexier. I haven't lost much weight, but I feel different. Sure, my weight is still up there, but NOT FOR LONG! I feel like I'm well on my way to changing.

But still, things have been slow. So I've been doing some research to see if there's something I'm missing (like patience) or something I should be doing more of (exercising) or something I should cut back on (everything that enters my mouth). And instead, I get this shit from the Mayo Clinic:

"For most healthy adults, the Department of Health and Human Services recommends:"

Blah blah blah, I'm not a healthy adult. I'm 25, really overweight, and on a diuretic. Yes, I get the whole "diet and exercise" thing. But how much, how often, and how do you know you're doing it right?

Don't say weight loss, don't say weight loss, don't say weight loss.

Look, I'm not competing on the Biggest Loser here, I don't expect to lose ten pounds a week. I don't want my stomach stapled, and I don't want to develop an eating disorder. I'm too young and pretty to have to deal with saggy skin issues. Slow and steady wins the race, non?

But slow and steady is about to kill my drive if I don't get some affirmation from someone, somewhere... I just need to know that this is going to work.

I really need this to work.