feel like i'm on top of the world (with ur love)

Okay so.

I'm stuck at work and this abundance of energy is killing me. As usual, I went for my 4am trip to the exercise room to make nice with the elliptical. Less than a minute in my feet were killing. BOTH. I had to stop in under ONE MINUTE.

Maybe I'm sick masochist, but I've never not been able to last a minute. I've never not been able to last ten. So what gives?

It was so bad, I cut my losses at 25 minutes when I reached exactly 2 miles (12.5 minute mile average.... fucking seriously?? disappointing). I came back to my desk to start googling what might be causing foot pain (again) because my self-diagnosed bursitis might not be the culprit. On the second link I clicked, a person had posted a response about someone else's numb toes (thanks for nothing, I already solved that problem) but I saw that she listed herself as an IH sufferer in her user tag, complete with a link to her blog and a link to another IH support blog.

Firstly, I hate that they call it IH. The first I Is Incredibly Important (ha, see what I did there?). Idiopathic. Doctors and random strangers off the street need to know that. GET IT RIGHT.

Secondly... either I really am a sick masochistic fuck, or I am seriously abnormal. Or both. My mom would definitely put her vote in for both.

When I was first diagnosed I was bombarded with questions about headaches and seeing things and a possible whooshing noise and a million other weird things that made no sense to me at the time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. But, as my lovely neurologist will tell you, nothing has changed for me.

I guess I have fewer headaches now, but the headaches I had before were NEVER of the caliber that would keep me from work, or from functioning at all. Thinking back on it now, I guess I did have a little tinnitus, but only ever after strenuous activity or bending over and it would last a few seconds before it went away. I have a random collection of short little memories that, at the time, I believed to be normal for everyone. Clearly, I was wrong.

On the flip side of that same coin, I'm annoyed with my fellow IIH counterparts who assume that everyone suffers from a debilitating brain condition just by being labeled IIH.

That leaves me with two options: either my case is mild, or I'm a sick masochistic fuck with an unusually high pain tolerance.

I'm going to forgo a definitive answer to that prompt, because I'm much more comforted by the idea that I'm abnormal. In this case, abnormal is good. At least this way I still have more than just the illusion of a shot at normalcy.





I'm struggling to decide if this morning's two miles is enough to satisfy a "workout" or if I should try again later tonight. Perhaps barefoot? I know I should probably give my body a break since I have been ESPECIALLY good lately, but I hate the idea of knowing that I'm skipping a workout when I so desperately need to be trying harder. It's not even so much about losing weight, I just feel useless not working out. Bah humbug.

Cher Lloyd is changing the way I workout. cause they know that you own it