oppan gangnam style.

Where's the line between showing your life, and just plain showing off?

I was typing thinking this post out in my head during my long run last night, and even though that was only 15 hours ago, I've mostly forgot what I intended to say. So let's wing it.

Lessons in running outdoors:

I prefer running outdoors. The fresh air, the scenery, and the fact that you can't stop until you get back home are major contributing factors for my love of hitting the pavement. Cliché, I know, but there are benefits to running on pavement rather than on a treadmill. I won't go into that now, but Google "running outdoors vs treadmill" if the subject truly interests you.

I started my weight loss journey on the elliptical, because my seriously overweight body could not handle the impact of running, but I did each exercise with the intent of eventually becoming a runner. BECAUSE RUNNING IS AWESOME. I've harbored a great deal of hatred jealousy towards runners because I wished that it was me. More than anything, I wanted to be that person puffing clouds running on the side of the road in the dead of winter while the rest of the world is being lazy cozy.

I remember the first time I ran outdoors and I was petrified that a person driving by would laugh at the way my butt bounced or that someone would notice my cellulite through my pants. These are not irrational fears. I was afraid of being judged, that someone would pull up beside me and say, "Should you really be trying to run?" Every step I took was a "fuck you" to the thoughts inside my head that were saying go inside, you're embarrassing yourself.

During those first few runs, I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how to pace myself, how to dress, no clue as to what I should be bringing with me. I was a hot mess. Here is what I've learned so far:

1. You need to be crazy-super aware of what the weather is doing. Also, you need to be crazy-super aware of what your body can tolerate.

Knowing the temperature is not enough! You have to know about the humidity, chance of precipitation, visibility and road conditions. If it's sunny out, don't wear black. If you run at night, don't wear black. White is generally a good choice, unless it's foggy, in which case wear neon. Or Christmas lights. Fleece is your friend on cold days, cotton is the devil on warm ones. It's surprising how little clothing you need to run in the cold. A thermal headband and running gloves will make you so toasty that running stops sucking in below freezing temps.

2. If you dress the part, you'll feel the part.

I'm not saying you have to go out and buy an entire new wardrobe for exercising, but there are advantages to that type of clothing. Cotton is not your friend. It holds moisture which makes you sopping wet on hot days as well as cold days. And if it's cold enough, IT WILL FREEZE. Even when it's 30 degrees outside, you will sweat through your shirt and it will freeze. Not fun. If you have anxiety about what people think of you while running outdoors (like I did), your clothing choices can help with this. If you take yourself seriously enough to invest in good dri-fit items like tanks, fleece, and running tights, outsiders will take you seriously too. Not to mention, it aids in your performance making you a better runner overall.

3. Unless you hurt yourself, you will never finish a run and think, "Damn, I wish I hadn't done that." Ever.

Last night, I was on the last stretch of a 7km run and my toes were numb and my quads were tired and all the bounce had left my hamstrings. I could have easily walked the rest of the way home and allowed myself to loosen up the stitch I had in my right lung. Instead, I finished. Hobbling, grumbling, sore, ready to pass out, but I finished. If there was an Awesome award, I would have won it last night. It doesn't matter if it's a slow run, an awful run, a run-walk-walk-jog kind of run, the point is that you did it and no force on earth can take that back.

Enough of the lessons for the day, mmkay?

I burned a ridiculous amount of calories last night, between 20 minutes on the elliptical (oh holy hamstrings) and a more in-depth weight lifting routine (oh holy rowing) and the crazy 7km I ran outdoors. But not once during my workout was I doing it for calories. I stopped thinking of my exercise time in terms of weight loss, and instead I've been focused on my fitness. I suppose that has been reflected in the stalling of my weight, but I just can't bring myself to care. I know there's still fifty pounds to lose, but I need to work on my arms/shoulders/back muscles and my hamstrings and glutes could use a boost. Pick your battles, I guess.

There is a sunny side to this story: today's weigh-in was 218.5. Every little bit counts :)