I'm catching up on one of my favorite TV shows and of course the subject matter is adoption, and while I haven't been affected by this first-hand it is a HUGE factor in my life. Coincidentally, just the other day I found some (literally) long-lost family on Facebook.
These were people I met briefly once a long time ago; we spent a few awkward encounters together being told that we were "family" meanwhile feeling like complete strangers. I've always said that family is more than blood, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that I think of these people on more than just passing occasions.
The conversation starts, "hola prima! como estas?" and while the words are flying from my fingertips, I don't know what it means to be this person's cousin. How are you doing? What the fuck does that mean? I guess the more pertinent question is "who the fuck are you?" While it is very simple plotting our relation on a family tree, she is still a stranger from another country that I plucked from obscurity. But DNA says we're family.
A few clicks into her profile pictures and I start to see familiar traits and it's obvious to me that I am definitely one of them, at least biologically. The wide hips and big ass, definitely from my dad's side. I guess I was just always thankful that I'm not built like a fridge like all the ladies on my mom's side that I never stopped to consider where my looks came from. My newly-discovered prima and I are extremely close in age and extremely close in looks, and I have to say how absolutely overwhelming it is to feel this relief.
I never bothered to look for my family before now because I was certain of who I am. I am still certain of who I am, but my heart is racing realizing that I just uncovered a new piece.
Continuing in my recent theme of self-acceptance, I am excited to see what fruits this relationship will bear. It's almost unsettling to meet someone who grew up thousands of miles away from me and to find that she looks EXACTLY like me, she looks more like me than my own sister does. Already, I've found peace with my thick hips and my rounder-than-usual ass because, for the first time ever in my life, I have PROOF that it's genetic and not just a consequence of bad habits.
Who knows what I'll find, how long this will last, or if anything will come of it, but I can already tell you that it was worth the few days of agony that followed the submission of my Friend Request in being able to learn these few facts.
I feel a little more complete.
No comments:
Post a Comment
keep it real, keep it honest, and most importantly, KEEP IT POLITE.