i was waiting for so long.

MY BODY HURTS.

I FUCKING MISSED THIS.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

THIS IS AWESOME.

I WANT MORE.

I need to take it easy.

My podiatrist cleared me to run again beginning Tuesday June 18, so naturally I dressed for a run shortly after midnight last night. I had made promises that I would only run 1 or 2 km, come back home, sleep, and re-assess my situation in the morning after my foot had a chance to respond to all the new trauma, but let's be real. I started running and I didn't want to stop. I didn't set out with a route in mind which was problem #1, and I never really gave myself rules about when to walk, when to stop, and when to call an ambulance (problem #2). I found myself with a stress fracture by running through the pain and that's a habit I need to break starting yesterday.

It's been over a month since I've had a proper run and my lungs felt the burn. Within the first half-kilometer, I contemplated walking because I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest, and it took a long time before I stopped thinking those thoughts. At 2.5 km I was committed to running a full 5 km and THANKFULLY my brain set up some red flags. That's how this all started: reach the goal at any cost.

I think running for the next few weeks, if not months, will be spent thinking through the entire process. At one point I had to remove my earbuds so I could focus on my foot. I had to be mindful of my speed, cracks in the road, hills, and how I land on my left foot, the entire time asking myself does that hurt? should that hurt? is this normal? how does the other foot feel? are you just making this up? OMG I'M PANICKING.

The greatest thing I learned last night is that while my one foot is still healing, my other foot is fine which gives me a great reference point. It feels good to be back :)

Side note (MAJOR NEWS): I tried on a pair of New Balance running shoes this weekend (they were for my dad, his and my feet are roughly the same size) and I spent days thinking about getting a pair for myself. It's been such a long time since I've worn traditional athletic shoes that I've missed so much of the new technology and I have to admit... these NB shoes were light as air and cute-cute-cute. And then I put on my Vibrams. HAHAHAHA Traditional shoes are whack. Delusion over.

Finally, stats:

I ran 5.36 km in 40:20
My foot doesn't hurt and it's not sore today
I really should lift weights more
I gained 2 pounds throughout this ordeal. 6/18/2013 weigh in: 209.0