i get a feeling that i never never never had before.

I struggle with the idea that I've lost close to 50 pounds. Probably because I struggled with the idea of having gained 50+ pounds. I have to be the most oblivious person on earth, because it all feels like more of the same to me.

Despite my horrible, horrible eating this weekend, the scale read 247.5 this morning. Not entirely sure how that happened.

This is the last week of March, which means my 5 pounds/5k challenge is coming to an end. Believe me, I will have both accomplished before Friday morning.




For giggles I went through my under-bed storage containers trolling for jeans. My current ones (size 18) are hanging in all the wrong places. I like the idea that my jeans fit baggy, but it's a mess visually. I didn't think I would be able to move into the next size down, though, so I've been patiently sticking it out with the sizes I have now until a happy shopping day came along. Not today. My curiosity got the best of me and I just had to, HAD TO, try on a pair of old 16's I kept in storage.

They fit. They fit NICELY. No muffin top. I'm afraid to wear them in public in case it's an optical illusion, I'll have to wait until my boyfriend or one of my chick friends comes around to confirm that I'm not going out of my god damn mind.




Sometimes it feels like nothing has changed.


Blood at Mercy this afternoon... uneventful. As usual.