For the third day in a row, I have weighed myself. And for the third day in a row, the scale reads 269. I am beyond thrilled.

I was thinking about listing all the ways I have been bad this week, to include all the foods I've eaten (like pizza and nachos) that don't conform to the idea of "dieting." I was going to express my guilt for my noticeable absence at the gym this week, claim responsibility for my horrible sleeping habits, and chastise myself for being such a bad student this semester.

And then, I read this. I've been a secret admirer of LVP for a few months now, mostly to gaze at the foods that I will probably never have the nerve to make (or even eat). The recipes, the NYC nightlife, and sharing thoughts with another post-bacc student are so indulgent that I look forward to reading every day, but in all honesty I find it hard to implement much of this into my personal lifestyle. But today... today's post spoke to me.

I've been thinking for a while now that it was probably really stupid to start my diet plan in October because I've had to face the challenge of navigating weight loss through my birthday, my entire family's birthdays, Thanksgiving, finals week, Christmas, New Years, and my winter vacations (yes, plural... because I like making things difficult on myself).

My birthday was a huge setback because I had only been exercising for a week and I hadn't yet figured out portion control, and of course I celebrated with a meal at HuHot (unlimited, no less). Thanksgiving felt so out of control because I didn't know how to incorporate exercise away from home; finals week is turning out to be a shit show. And now with tomorrow's and Sunday's Christmas parties looming, I just don't know what to do.

But the point remains: it's the holidays, it's the most wonderful time of the year! I have been blessed with two families, one to share Hanukkah with and the other that celebrates Christmas. In the spirit of giving and the tradition of the festival of lights, I must remember to be thankful and learn to relinquish my anxieties surrounding the opulence of the season.

This weekend, I'm going to partake in heavy drinking. I'm going to have cookies and pie and delicious foods. If I have time to exercise, I will be thankful. If not, I will still be thankful.



Last night after work, I went down to the fitness center at midnight. I was all wound up and anxious and unfortunately my attention span only lasted the length of two miles. But I definitely got the most out of those two miles. Because of my sleeping mishap yesterday my meals got jumbled up, and at 1am I realized I was hungry. I'm sure my body thought it was dinner time, so I fixed a plate of nachos. I stayed up until 4am and I awoke at noon -- my body did NOT like waking up to a stomach full of nachos.

Can I just say... I am sooooo fucking happy that tonight is the last night of torture. I would like my life back.