sometimes it hurts instead.

I stayed up until 4am not studying... I had every intention to study, but boyfriend kept me company in the office and he's like my best friend which means I go no work done. He left at 2am, and for two hours I did... who knows. It was a colossal waste of time.

I set 3 alarms and I had boyfriend call me to make sure I would get up this morning. In my sleep, I had a fully formed argument why it would be better for me if I just slept all day. So I did exactly that. I stayed in bed until 2pm, at which point I decided to start getting ready for another long night at work.

Not only did I eat 2 pieces of pizza at stay up until 4am...
I slept until 2pm and skipped studying AND the gym..
... I also weighed myself.

I am all kinds of messed up today. I don't know what it is about finals week that makes me throw out all my structure and lose motivation.

If there's any good news in this story, it's that I still weigh 269. And I slept really well so I am well rested to get my power study on tonight. I also decided that I'm hitting the gym after work. Let's face it, if I'm going to be up until 2am anyhow, I might as well be exercising rather than conducting random Google searches.



I slept through lunch/breakfast so I was especially mindful of packing foods for work. I brought some vanilla yogurt, apple, pomegranate, orange, turkey sandwich on wheat with one slice of pepper jack, and a small ziplock of Doritos (it's just not finals without junk food), water and green tea. I got to work ravenous so I set to cubing an apple to throw into my yogurt. A man I know very well came into the lobby and watched me as I cut my apple and he said, "That's a lot of work for a small piece of fruit." Oh, if only he had seen me seed the pomegranate yesterday.

But it got me thinking: sure, it's true that I could have skipped the knife work and just taken a bite from the apple, but there's something SO SATISFYING about having your food exactly the way you want it. I love taking a spoon of yogurt and finding little nuggets of apple stuck in there to give me a wet, juicy crunch as I eat.

I love finding new ways to love food.