i'll getcha, i'll getcha.

A lot of things happened yesterday, and because I'm myself I think everything was a really big fucking deal. BFD. Yes.

1.

So I bought this dress from Victoria's Secret last week. It's form-fitted lace and chartreuse colored. CHAR. TREUSE. Everything about this dress is screaming "LOOK AT ME" and somehow I managed to conquer my fears and order it. It fits beautifully, I love the color, but there was something missing from the dress. I poked around in my closet and realized I needed a crisp black blazer to take it from borderline trampy to something fashionable. Unfortunately the only blazer I currently own (thanks to my rapid weight loss) is black velvet with pinstripes... doesn't exactly work with this dress. I have been searching store after store after website after catalog... no luck in finding my perfect blazer. I even expanded my blazer budget way beyond comfort in hopes that I would attract a stellar pricy piece that I could keep around for years. It must not be blazer season or something because the few that I found were not what I needed.

All I want is something like this. It's not that fucking hard, I promise.

I begged friends for ideas where to shop because my usual spots and the obvious mall choices had failed me, but those efforts were fruitless as well. Then, out of the blue I thought, "hey, what about Walmart?" I found a blazer that'll suit my needs (at least temporarily until Banana Republic decides to stop being a bitch) and in the process I also found skinny jeans. BLACK SKINNY JEANS. I've been dreaming of black skinny jeans since March, something about them has this quality that feels like they need to be in my wardrobe. But I have wide hips and large thighs and all my experiences with tights and jeggings and skinny jeans has convinced me that such items above a size 8 are fashion's practical joke on curvy women.

I must have been out of my god damn mind, because I ordered them. Not only that, but I'm seriously looking forward to all the outfits that I've planned in my head. I'm expecting the delivery by next Monday at the latest, so I would greatly appreciate happy thoughts and skinny wishes to be sent in the direction of my ass, thighs, and hips as we prepare for the arrival of the best jeans ever.

2.

When I got off of work yesterday I went straight home and tackled the explosion that used to be known as my closet (I have a really bad habit of leaving clothes on the floor). With my newest purchases in mind, I sorted through my items thinking about what's going on vacation with me in three weeks and what new clothing combinations I can make with the new stuff. So naturally that means I tried on everything in my closet. EV-ER-Y-THING. Sadly, that hasn't been uncommon in the last few months, I've probably tried on my entire wardrobe at least three times since February. What made yesterday's fashion show different was that I didn't think I needed it because I haven't lost any weight.

The scale gods must be giant bitches because the number is staying the same but my body is for shiz changing. Undeniable. I threw out at least five items that used to fit a month ago, and I rediscovered a yellow blazer of mine that's been hanging in the back with tags on because my arms were to fat to fit through the sleeves (for the record, the sleeves are super baggy now). I wasn't expecting to have to do another closet purge so soon but I'm not going to argue with the way things are going so I did it, happily I might add. The biggest change came from my lingerie drawers: I threw out ten panties that I had purchased at my highest weight ever. At the time, they were pretty much the only panties I could wear, and it would have been really fucking depressing had it not been for the cute colors and prints that decorated each pair. It's hard enough having to buy underwear that large, so I'm toasting to Target for designing and selling adorable panties for us big girls that makes the panty buying process a little less horrible.

Cheers.

I'm not going to lie, it was pretty emotional getting rid of those panties. I'm happy to see them go because they represent so much, but throwing them in the trash meant facing reality and forgiving myself for being so careless with my health. I'm in a better place now.

3.

Literally in the middle of my closet purge, I received a phone call from boyfriend who wanted a ride home. It was already pretty late and both of us were beat so we agreed to go out for dinner to a local restaurant for which we had a Groupon. I ordered the daily special, ratatouille pizza, and OMG what a concept.

I like to think that Remy was my chef.

Dinner for the two of us came out to $7.00 after the Groupon, including tip, and our food was phenomenal. Just when I thought my day couldn't get better, boyfriend said he wanted to go swimming. So we went swimming. I was still pretty sore from Saturday's ass kicking at the gym but swimming allowed me to gently loosen up my muscles and I left the pool feeling limber and ready for another round of weightlifting. Some friends of ours were going to the gym at 8:30 and we joined them; I did 15 minutes on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the elliptical, I did all my lifting exercises plus a few new ones, and I ran home. My total exercise time came to 1:26:14 during which time I burned a whopping 1126 calories. On my run home I felt unstoppable, I would have kept running but it was late and I still had to shower. Even though I cut things off sooner than I would have liked, I STILL feel great the morning after. YAY AWESOME DINNER, YAY SWIMMING, YAY EXERCISE.

4.

At the end of the night when it came time to dress for bed, I had an idea: there was a Penguins Winter Classic t-shirt (tags on) in size M tucked away in my closet that was given to me by a friend that never fit before that I thought might fit now. I did the bold thing of removing the tags before trying the shirt because I just had a feeling that it would go my way. Sure enough, it did.

5.

I may have been a tad overzealous with my exercising last night because I cried when my alarm went off this morning. My body was/is exhausted. I pulled myself out of bed, threw on a dress, packed my foods and drove to work. And then I took a nap. Like any normal person would do, of course.

It was a lot like this, except I'm not that well dressed.

I don't think my boss would approve, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Plus, I boosted my mood and productivity 100%, so really if you think about it this nap was for work related purposes.