this is crazy, but here's my number.

I just emailed my address to a complete stranger. WTF.

Also, not the first time I've done that (one of the pitfalls of online dating).

But... it's all kosher, I swear.

Thank you for your inquiry.

We apologize for your recent experience with our product. On occasion, random spoilage can occur. It's often the result of shipping or at-retail conditions that damage Tetra Pak and cause minute leaks that lead to oxidation, fermentation and spoilage. Additionally, as we produce a natural beverage which is more susceptible to spoilage than beverages that are canned or bottled.

We're happy to replace the unit in question, please send us your address.

We appreciate your patronage.

Arthur @ Vita Coco

I don't know who Arthur is, but he responded to my original email in less than 24 hours, which is more credit that I can give to myself regarding my response. I absolutely accept his/Vita Coco's apology and explanation, and while we're on the topic of honesty...

I lied, I do know an Arthur. And I bet this is what it looked like when he sat down to reply to my email.

I feel kinda bad that I had to email them at all. I mean, God only knows what happens to food products as they get sent through the mail. I don't love the idea of having to buy coconut water online, but there are two critical factors that always sway my decision: firstly, price (Amazon has a monopoly on that); and secondly, I live in kinda rural Iowa. Finding stores that carry coconut water are few and far between and I have to go out of my way to find the good stuff, whereas the mailman delivers right to my door.

I feel much better now, knowing that someone heard my complaints and took my words seriously. And even better, now I have yet another package to look forward to (in case you haven't already noticed, I LOVE GETTING PACKAGES... and I have an online shopping problem). Speaking of packages, 2/3rds of my first Victoria's Secret package arrived today. Sadly but not unexpectedly, it was the two items that I wasn't looking forward to that arrived. I ordered a black and white color blocked shirt that I've been drooling over for weeks and it FINALLY went on sale, except it was $5 below the free shipping minimum, and you should already know my rule about paying shipping costs (hint: I NEVER do it). The shirt was on back order and I knew that going in, but I HAD TO have it so I clicked "ADD TO CART" along with a pair of panties and some clearance eyeshadow to get myself to the free shipping minimum. Shipping for Victoria's Secret is notoriously expensive, so if you're ever faced with the choice of spending $5 on panties and make-up or $8 for shipping when every other company on the planet ships for free, I think the choice is pretty obvious.

[Note: today's post is going to be kind of scattered in terms of topics because I slept for 14 hours last night and it scrambled my brains.]

I didn't go to the gym last night because I was sleeping, and today I stayed home in favor of watching Desperate Housewives on the couch and eating food. Yes, I know that my choices are counterproductive, but weight loss really is the last thing on my mind these days. The many months I've spent starving and running and running and starving left me with a battered soul. I don't really care what you think of me for choosing the couch over the gym because I'm wearing new silk panties today and I feel like a knockout. So there.

How I feel today. Defintely NOT how I look.

Plus, I should probably note that I had a surprisingly healthy lunch today. Our 4th of July trip to Wal-Mart yielded some nice scores in the meat department, namely several packages of turkey burgers. They're some organic brand I've never heard of, and apparently no one has either because they were on super sale. Each package came with four 4 oz. patties for $2.39 total, which is cheaper than buying a pound of turkey and smashing it into patty shapes myself. I cooked a patty on a cast iron skillet and served it atop a wheat burger bun smeared with blue cheese spread with spinach and radicchio and a slice of pepperjack cheese. Total calories: 390.

Feeling pretty bad ass right now.