Thank jeebus the US is consumed with calorie counts. At first I was going to say "thank jeebus the US is consumed with health and fitness" until I realized that we're not. We're obsessed with numbers. That's all.
But seriously though, thank jeebus. Because now I know that my lunch was 1080 calories. LUNCH.
What the hell. I wanted to eat more too, but the "I have to go to the gym" guilt saved me from making that really poor decision. Fuck you, Taco John's. Just... fuck.
I finally braved looking at the nutrition info on the bread I buy... it's not nearly as bad as I thought. 110 calories per slice and it packs a whopping twelve whole grains. So... win. That coupled with a can of drained tuna (in water, 100 calories), a couple of stalks of celery roughly chopped (no calories), and a little squirt of Caesar dressing (50 calories), I've found a quick and easy meal that I can make just about anywhere. I have taken custody of a toaster I found in a storage closet at work that I use to toast my bread, I don't normally like toast but I love the way the bread has a texture compared to the gooey-ness of my tuna-celery mixture. It's divine, really. And at less than 400 calories, I don't have to feel bad about eating.
245.5. Today my boss's wife made a comment to my super hefty coworker/friend. On the one hand, I was fighting the giggles because her words were brutally honest to the point of hilarity, but on the other hand my heart ached for my friend who is still living in denial about her efforts to lose weight. Taking a twenty minute walk around the block once a week and only having five cans of soda a day instead of six isn't going to take you from morbidly obese to healthy; in fact, she hasn't even lost a pound. I feel bad for her, but my boss's wife's words were also hurtful to me in that she trivialized (however unintentionally) the work I've put into my health over the last six months. It's not just that I make time to work out every day, it's that I have to decline when extra servings, desserts, delicious drinks, food of any kind crosses my path. It's that I have less time for sleep, less energy for patience, less hours in the day to share with my friends and family. There are even things I'm not allowed to think about.
As if it's not bad enough that my body is overweight, now my mind is on a diet too.
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