i knew you would.

I'm sad this week.

There have been a lot of things going on personally (things I'd rather not discuss here) but it's worth noting that emotions have a profound effect on weight loss (it can be positive or negative, depending on your experience). I'm a stress eater, but I also like to manipulate my food choices to give off feelings of control so this battle is usually a difficult one for me. I either eat because I'm lonely, or I starve myself to prove a point. It's not good.

I woke up pretty early today (relative to my expectations) thinking I would get out of bed and take on the day. Instead, I got some news that sent me crumbling down into the depths of depression and I couldn't bring myself back from there. It took me an hour to convince myself to get out of bed, then an hour wasted in front of the computer because I couldn't be bothered to put pants on, then I went back to bed.

Everything is so much better under a pile of blankets.

I thought about taking a sick day at work but I knew better. I dressed, took the drive, and grumpily settled in for the night. I was kicking myself for not tending to my to-do list during the day like I should have, and then a light bulb went off in my head: the things on my to-do list could be accomplished while at work. OH I LOVE YOU, INTERNET.

The best thing about my job is that I have almost no supervision and the only rule is that I can do whatever I want as long as I get my work done. I have access to free wifi and a printer/scanner/fax machine, so that coupled with my personal laptop means I get serious work done around here.

And by that I mean I do this:

Story of my Mondays.

I was sad because of my cancelled trip to Las Vegas, I was sad because I didn't make time for the gym, I was sad because I quit in the middle of a Pilates workout, I was sad to be at work instead of in my bed at home. But if I had to be at work, it was going to be productive. I decided. On the agenda was preparing the documents I needed to file my taxes. I'm a business student, taken several accounting classes, and I filed my own taxes last year so I felt more than equipped to handle it again this year. Seriously, to my peers... at least once in your life you should file your taxes. It's not that hard, plus there's just something special about accepting this task as part of your initiation into adulthood. The one lesson that I learned from last year is that you should be prepared; have your W2s ready, 1098-T and E, receipts for your school and medical expenses (printed, separated, and tallied), and whatever other financial things you need to include on your taxes. Have all of this even before you start thinking of signing up with TurboTax (that's what I use). It's lengthy and time consuming, but the better aware you are of 1) where your money went last year and 2) how much of that is tax deductible, the better off you'll be.

I went into this process tonight thinking I was just going to collect my statements and then file my taxes officially on my day off this Friday, but I got so into it that I kept going... and going. Several hours later, I landed a massive refund and I'm feeling hella good about myself. The only problem now is that I completely neglected my actual work.

Oh shit.

So yeah. Money can't buy happiness, but scratching things off your to-do list can bring you a little closer toward good feelings. I did nothing with my day except whine, sit in front of a computer, and spend way too much time in bed, but I'm not going to let that get me down. I filed my taxes. It's not much, but it's something and right now I have nothing. I feel good.