il s'invite quand on ne l'attend pas

The Principal Financial Group means a great deal to me and my family. When we came to Iowa, there were literally no plans in place for anything -- no jobs for my parents, no schools for me and my bro, we barely even found a place to stay. Within a couple of weeks, my dad started working at PFG and set many of our fears at ease as we settled into life in the Midwest. Twelve (12!) years later, daddy's still a proud PFG employee and I have much to thank them for.

First and foremost, I am ever-so-lucky to have my health insurance through my dad's employment with PFG, without which... well, I don't even want to think about that. My brain and my vision are proof of the power of financial resources. Secondly, the PFG 5k held every year in October was and is the main reason I got into running to begin with. I mean, seriously... you put a Michelob Ultra tent at the finish line an OF COURSE I'll want to be part of it. I have yet to run this race (or any race at all) but THIS ONE is the one that means the most to me. It's always held the same week as my birthday and it courses through the prettiest spots in downtown Des Moines and it's sponsored by the company that supports my family, and BEER. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to run this race this year (Iowa is hosting Penn State that same weekend... GO HAWKS!), but SOMEDAY I'll clear the finish line and I guarantee there will be tears.

It's been my deepest fear and greatest goal to be able to run a 5k. I've never been a runner and I've always been too fat and lazy and out of shape to even think about competitive running. It's not that I ever intend on qualifying for a medal, I just don't like the idea of large crowds watching me fail. My idea of failure: a finish time of more than 40 minutes. My running speed is the primary reason I haven't joined a race yet, I just don't feel comfortable taking my efforts public.

Butttt... tonight, after much encouragement from boyfriend (and the guilt of having KFC for dinner), I took myself for a run. Except this run was different. Literally different -- I chose a course I had mapped out a few weeks ago but had yet to run. It was 3.22 miles, my longest run to date. It took all my strength to keep from looking at my watch every few minutes to check on my progress because I was strangely fearful of taking more than 50 minutes to complete. I am happy to report that my final time was 42:17... adjusting for the 5k distance (3.1 miles), that means I ran a sub-40 5k.

Today, 7 May 2012, I ran a sub-40 5k.

There was a moment around mile 2, I was running through a street that isn't very well lit and has thick vegetation. I could barely make out my feet in front of me and little else. There was a break in my music, I could hear the tip-tap tip-tap of my feet on the ground and the rhythm of my slow and steady breaths. I closed my eyes and realized there was no difference between open and closed, it was so dark, and I realized that anything could happen. Anything. I could fall and hurt myself and no one would find me until morning, I could be kidnapped and no one would know any better. Or, I could run like no one was watching and surprise myself.

I'm still brimming with emotion from my run, realizing that I've accomplished things that weren't possible a year ago. I challenged myself and came out on the positive end. And now, I will forever remember the feeling of running blindly in the dark, "Et l'on peut rien" ringing in my ears as I allowed myself to be the rock star I was meant to be.