i know it aint easy giving up your heart.

I know how the story ends (or at least, how it's developing so far) but I've been diligently reading One Twenty Five from the beginning in hopes of finding something that would inspire me.

Things I have learned:
1. She has an awesome life.
2. She cares waaaay more about superficial things than I do (and that's saying something, because I'm hella shallow myself).
3. Thank Jesus I have a boyfriend.
4. Thank Jesus I don't have a chocolate habit.

I've been a little brokenhearted at the realization that I read her story for inspiration on what not to do, which I have to admit is a pretty easy feat for me. Firstly, I don't have much of a social life so drinking/drunk eating isn't a problem. Secondly, I have a boyfriend and he isn't going anywhere so the only person I'm trying to impress is myself. And thirdly, I just don't care about cupcakes that much. Or chips, or cookies, or any food for that matter.

I'm not trying to build myself up for having conquered my addictions, that's not the point of why I write tonight. What brings me back to this chick's head is the fight she has for running.

I hate every damn minute of running. Sometimes I get a nice runner's high and I think to myself "o hey, this isn't so bad" and then I notice the time and realize that the thought didn't even occupy my mind for thirty seconds before I was bored again. Not to mention, my timing SUCKS and my distance SUCKS and everything about having to run JUST SUCKS.

"...“the only real way to take time off, is to be lighter,” as I looked down at my eggs Benedict brunch in front of me, I felt fat and stupid."

I'll probably never run a marathon (because I think running is THAT stupid) but these words from the mouth of a person in her running group literally stunned me and made me realize that my measly 10 miles per week are not insignificant and that true success comes from NEVER.GIVING.UP.

I'll probably never run a marathon. But that's nothing to be ashamed of, because just a year ago running wasn't even on my radar, and now I'm sitting forty pounds away from the person I used to be knowing that it started by putting one foot in front of the other. So what if my pace is 14:00. So what if I've never run more than two miles without stopping. THE POINT IS THAT I'LL GET THERE.

No one is born a runner. Every single person on this planet has had to fight at some point in their life to learn to put one foot in front of the other. It's definitely a fight, and it's definitely not easy, but I'm doing it.