this love isn't rational it's physical.

I am STARVING. I don't know wtf is up but I feel like a bottomless pit right about meow. I cut up half a mini watermelon and ate that after the gym, then I cut up an apple, ate a turkey + lettuce + cheese sandwich, now I'm halfway through a bag of baby carrots and I'm not the least bit satiated.

I would really like this feeling to go away. Now.



Because I took yesterday off from exercising, I was feeling especially refreshed today (albeit a little tense in the joints). I spent a tad longer than usual stretching which reminded me how happy I am that I was ever introduced to Pilates. I take that shit with me EVERYWHERE and it makes a difference. Standing still for long periods? Thank you Pilates. Loosening my hips and knees so I can run an extra quarter mile? Thank you Pilates.

I got to 1.00 mile just as "Electric Feel" started to play on my iPod and I just HAD TO keep going. I couldn't waste a good song like that. I ran until 1.25 even though I knew I could have pushed harder and longer. But I'm getting a little concerned about how quickly the weight is coming off these days and I'd much rather slow it down a notch to make sure I don't hurt myself.

You totally read that right.

With the warm-up and cool-down, I spent close to half an hour on the treadmill, plus ten minutes stretching, plus another 27 minutes on the elliptical... these gym dates are really starting to add up. I remember a time when I couldn't last twenty minutes on the elliptical and now I'm rushing out after an 1:20 thinking "damn, I should have come in earlier so I could have more time." Go me.

There was a front desk meeting at work which I didn't have to take part in and I was VERY thankful for that for two reasons:
1. Free pizza
2. Free cake.

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place these days because people think that if I refuse food I must be starving myself, or if I refuse food it's because I'm trying to save calories because I'm fat and that's what fat people do. Today it was neither. It took me three days to get over the quesadilla incident from Monday and today is the FIRST day this week that I'm feeling good and I'd like to ride this feeling for a while longer. Pizza and cake just don't fit into my life the way that they used to. Unfortunately people don't understand it the way I do so I have to duck awkward situations like this and hope that no one notices.

Someone noticed. Fuck it.


I'm thrilled to be going in to see Dr Stern tomorrow being four pounds lighter. I'm thrilled that this weeks is pretty much over. I'm thrilled because I know boyfriend got me new workout pants for Valentine's day and we're celebrating on Saturday (YAY FOR SMALLER SIZES).

Also, hooray for green tea. Just one cup and the bottomless pit feeling in my stomach is gone. BANISHED.