we could have had it all.

I would like something potato, deep fried, and smothered in salt. Mostly, I'm thinking of Taco John's for which I have acquired a taste after a nasty hangover two months ago.

I like to say I'm not on a diet, because I'm not really. I eat whatever I want (case in point: last night, I had an ice cream cookie sandwich at a whopping 480 calories, the night before that I wiped a plate of pasta CLEAN). But I would be lying if I said there were no restrictions.

Lately I've been missing food, but not in the hunger sense. Believe me when I said I am well fed. Despite the four (!!) months of hard work and dedication I have put into myself, it's still incredibly hard breaking certain habits, and by that I am referring to my habit to indulge. Funny thing is, the less I indulge the more weight I lose.

I am really enjoying the way my body looks/feels these days. Can't give it up.

Today the scale read 256.5, was was shaking in my panties thinking of how fan-fuckin-tastic that is. Next thought: oh, how I miss fast food.

I am 4.5 pounds away from enjoying a 40 pound weight loss victory, and about 11 pounds away from being the hot piece of ass that I was when I met boyfriend. These are REALLY important milestones. At 245, my next goal will be 220 which is where I started in college (one of the hottest times in my life). After that is completely uncharted territory.

I can't believe I've stuck it out this long, I can't believe how fast it's happening. But dammit, I'm hungry!



Sometimes when I'm running on the treadmill I get depressed at how difficult it is for me to run a mile. And then I remind myself that I just started running two weeks ago, and I still weigh quite a bit, and suddenly it doesn't feel so hopeless. The frigid Iowa weather is giving me an excuse to hide my running inside the confines of a fitness center that I share with no one, but deep down I know eventually I'll have to take my efforts outside.

(Still no call from Dr Stern...)

My ADIpures have treated me well and I know I couldn't have accomplished this without them, but I took another bold step this weekend and order a pair of Vibrams for my future running endeavors. They'll be delivered on Thursday. I'll keep you posted.